STORY FROM YEAR 2062: Office Dork Still Types Using Their Hands

META VEGAS, EAST INDITUCKY, USA: 482561052 known as Jaxxon Sunrize is one of just a few human employees at SynthoGrow Fertilizers where he performs his data entry tasks in exchange for his weekly food box.

“E’one else wears Gateway Helmet. Not me. They laugh at me for no Gateway Helmet,” Jaxxon said. “It lowers my score, but it OK. I have enough points from blood giveaway, I have good blood.”

Coworker Wonderbread Willis (3158598861) finds Jaxxon’s use of his hands a sight to behold. “Who uses hands that way? Silly person. Never seen like that before. They eats with their mouth too. They looks with their optics. I laugh HA-HA.” ■

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